wordless wednesday.

puddle splashing.

Yesterday, I brought Iris outside to walk and play in the rain. We got to see her very first rainbow! I'm not sure that she really acknowledged it, but she did discover a large muddy puddle in the road at the base of a hill.

seventeen and a half months.

My little love, your Papa and I have been astounded by your development lately. Your personality shines out more than ever before. You are curious, though still as tentative as you've always been. If you can imagine a sarcastic child, that is you. You are quite serious, but still playful. You certainly do let out peals of laughter when tickled. You delve into activities that require fine motor skills or problem solving, but you will not (yet) run off across the playground by yourself or climb anything other than the couch or a set of stairs. You seem not to like getting dirty (unless it involves smearing food on the table). You are also very observant of people. Once you have stared into their eyes for a time, weighing their intentions, you slowly open up and become more social.

You really enjoy watching youtube videos of animals making noises, and love to imitate all of them. You can meow, woof, neigh, baa, moo, caw, and a whole host of others. Your favorite animal sound is "roar!" You've also taken up a certain high pitch shrieking which is a sound all your own. You can use your words with intention to get your needs met, most notably: more, chair, bye bye, up, back, no and thank you. In the last two days, you've learned to recognize and say the letter "I" and can even pick it out of the group of 26 alphabet magnets on the fridge. 

You can point to almost every part of your body, now including your forehead, cheeks, chin, neck, and knees. You have taken up balance exercises on the edge of the coffee table - you plant your hands on the surface and lean your hips forward on the edge to suspend your legs in the air. Sometimes you'll do this for a good twenty minutes at a time! You can take your own shirts and jackets off (with some squealing and frustration) and you are working on learning to put your own shoes on.

You love to eat roasted asparagus, corned beef, yogurt and snack bars made from a mix of figs, nuts and other fruits. You adore mandarin orange slices, but we think you may have an unfortunate sensitivity to them since your skin has broken out in a bit of a bumpy rash. You are still nursing and love your "memems" as much as ever. You usually want to feed yourself now and have become very adroit with your fork and spoon. 

Your hand-eye coordination has also developed to the point that you can attentively and easily hammer the balls through your "pound and roll tower." You can kick a ball, throw it forward and behind, and you are amazed when we throw it up into the air and catch it. You will tell me when you've gone "poo poo" or have a very wet diaper, and will point to the wipes and lay down for me to change you. You will also tell me if you've made a mess. You'll run to come get me and show me where it is, usually coconut milk on the carpet, and announce, "ohhhh! mee! mee!"

You have started helping me "read" books now, by excitedly starting or finishing sentences with memorized words. Your favorites to read are 'On the Night You Were Born', 'Bear Wants More' and 'The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear'. You love to dress up in my clothes while we're folding laundry; you prance around the house with a sly smile as you try not to trip on the draping fabric. You play with the kitty rather roughly these days, and you've received a few swats from him because of it! 

One of your favorite things is when your Papa and I kiss. You will grab one of us in each hand by our shirts or hair and push our faces together over and over, with a look of solemn approval on your face. You do get upset when we hug each other, though - maybe you feel left out or like we could be hurting each other somehow. You've also discovered that when you cover your eyes, you can magically 'disappear' from our sight, and you become quite gleeful at surprising us when you reappear with a "boo!"

You are expressive, sensitive, loving and strong. You engage life with delicate attention to every detail of what you can perceive (which is rather a lot.) You are a joy to behold and we are privileged to be the parents of your unique vision. We love you! 

home.

Marius came home to us on Tuesday of this week!

Iris was a little bit nervous at first, but that didn't last long. Even before we left the airport, she was already reaching for his hand and asking for his kisses. By the time we got home, she was sitting in his lap and hugging him. There is no doubt that she remembers her Papa and greatly missed him while he was away.

Marius will soon have two weeks off from work to spend time with us and to relax after his deployment. I've breathed so many sighs of relief since he returned happy, healthy and as much my loving husband as ever. 

Our family is whole again. 

teething woes.

The last few days haven't been much fun around here. Poor little Iris is still getting her second bottom molar. She has always taken teething very hard and becomes extra sensitive, easy to cry and needing of me. Her teeth also take ages to come in and cause her occasional fevers. The molar looks like it should cut soon, but has been terribly swollen. She has barely been eating solid food lately on account of how sore it is. One thing which does seem to help is cold coconut milk from her sippy. On top of the teething, I was quite ill the other day and still haven't entirely recovered. We had to cancel some fun plans we had with friends, though I will say that it was nice to sleep for twelve hours that night and Iris was very patient with the fact that I was confined to the couch for 48 hours.

So needless to say, we have done a lot of movie watching and couch cuddling over the last few days. I'm just grateful I got sick before Marius gets home! We went out for a walk today, but it was chilly and very windy. Iris fell down in a puddle and was perturbed that her leg got wet, then promptly fell again and scraped her hand a tiny bit. She barely noticed though, thank goodness. We came inside and she cried for a while, wanting to "go go go bye bye bye!" I changed her clothes again and we colored some pictures and played with stickers for a while until she felt better, She then gave the kitty some good kisses and played with him while I cleaned and planned meals for this week. I also took some photos of Iris today, though this little girl would not crack a smile no matter what I tried. 

We are all very ready for Marius to come home soon!

an instagram slice of life.

Making my toast and coffee, while the Kitty waits impatiently to lick the butter knife.

Going down the big slide together!

Sunkissed.

A snack of sliced strawberries with unsweetened coconut cream.

My Baby.

Ginger and garlic bok choy, vegetable dumplings and hoisin barbecued tofu on rice.

Snuggling with my teething baby.

news.

I got some wonderful news from Marius last night... he should be coming home in a fortnight! 

I am so overjoyed to know that he will be home so soon; I've been positively giddy. 

When I told Iris this morning, she grinned and pointed to her Papa doll and squealed, "Papa!" 

She also gave his picture many kisses today!

We can hardly wait to see him again after these long months apart.

in our family...

...every day is Valentine's Day.

finally, some new photos!

Happy baby.

"Heyo!" 

Sweet baby playing peek a boo!

"Okay, it's time to STOP taking pictures."

"Stop, please?"

Her super adorable "no" face.

sixteen months.

You turned sixteen months old on the 10th and oh, how the time has flown! The word "determined" no longer fully describes the intensity with which you dedicate yourself to your desires and ideas. You really are a little girl now, no longer a baby, though I can't help but continue to call you My Baby. I ask you, "who's my baby?" and you still point to yourself gleefully and reply, "baby! baby!"

You are very vocal now, a far cry from the often silent infant you once were. You scream, shriek, howl and use words with joy, frustration, anger and excitement. When you scream, I remind you to "use your words" and you patiently try to communicate to me as clearly as you can with words and gestures. One thing you love is washing your hands. You announce, "ah duhn!" when you are all done with your meal and immediately reach over towards the sink. You whine, "geh duhn!" to tell me you want to get down from your chair. Then, I hold you up and you wash your little hands at the sink, then dry them and wipe your mouth all by yourself!

You love to color with markers and crayons while I'm making dinner. I also finally get kisses from you! When you decide it's time for me to have them, you purse your little lips and run to me. You love to watch me kiss pictures of your Papa and will even grab me by the hair or shoulder to push me at him! You also love music, most especially your new discovery... Elvis. 

You love raisins, chai spiced oatmeal, rice and Annie's mac and cheese. Your favorites are still avocados, strawberries, and coconut and Mama milks. Every morning when you wake up, you have a nice long nursing session while I attempt to doze. When I finally get up, you grab me by the hand and run into the kitchen to pull at the refrigerator door, and ask for your morning drink of kefir. You are now eating pieces of food out of bowl with a spoon, all by yourself. 

You've recently mastered the use of the word, "no" and use it often to declare your thoughts. You've finally learned to "please sit down" on the couch when I ask, and for some reason reply with a, "meeeow!" However, you still think it's funny to make me ask, dozens of times. Speaking of meows, we play with the kitty every day and he is warming up to you more and more, though your loud vocals are not his favorite. He does love when you feed him cheese and pasta!

You say so many different words and do so many new things now, I can't possibly list them all! You become smiley and bashful when anyone blows kisses to you. You especially love when I pretend to bite your hands and feet while you nurse. You like to play with hair clips and headbands (which you prefer to wear as necklaces), and have started showing interest in picking out your own clothes. You're very social and outgoing and while we're walking around outside, you sometimes run after people to say "heyo!" I can hardly believe you are already sixteen months old; you look and act so grown up now. You amaze me, little one. Mama loves you!

a look back v.6

happy anniversary.

Two years ago on this evening, my love and I were wed. It was a very simple affair that took place in the office of the Justice of the Peace. Our sisters and two of our friends were there as witnesses. The ceremony was only a few minutes long, and I barely remember the words we spoke to each other from whatever standard script that is used. 

But, I do remember Marius's expression as he looked at me; so full of love and heart laid bare. 

I remember the way his lips moved around the words and the way his hands felt around mine as we exchanged rings. 

I remember the way my heart fluttered like a small bird. 

I remember our first embrace as husband and wife and how I felt I might burst with delight.

Marius is more than I could ever have asked for in a friend, teacher, husband and love. 

I have such pride in the home and family we have built; in our beautiful and intelligent daughter; 

in the balance we bring each other. 

Our honeymoon will never cease as we experience and explore everything this wonderful life has to offer - together. 

Thank you, My Love.

The last two years have been nothing short of extraordinary. 

hunting dandelions.

our first art project.

We learned about which end of the marker to hold.

This was all Iris. I only put the dots of glue for her to stick the noodles on.

Crafty baby!

utensils!

Here's a little video that I took of Iris a few nights ago. Lately, she has been very determined that she feed herself. Sometimes I can sneak bites in, especially if she's really hungry. Most of the time, she wants to do it all by herself (and once she's done, she makes a big mess with the rest of it!)

Considering that she just started eating solid food four months ago, she has made astounding progress! 

links I love.

A seven year old said, "mom, I'm fat." This is how her mother responded. I was a blubbering mess by the end.

Anne Roiphe, a first-generation femininist and author, wrote this lovely piece about what makes her feel beautiful. 

I wrote a little bit yesterday about how I have cut most sugars out of my diet. Here's an informative article called, The Politics of Sugar: why your government lies to you about this disease-promoting ingredient. 

Finally, a recipe for muffins that doesn't call for heaps of sugar! I will have to find a substitute for the egg whites though...  I am so excited to try this recipe next week, once I can gather all the ingredients. 

No one wants to hear the word "no." Let's learn to respect our children's emotions when they get angry or frustrated. Here is a great example of how to do that. 

I really enjoyed reading this post on toddler discipline, by blogger Melissa Jordan. 

A touching read about a boy sticking up for his little brother. 

This dress is perfect in so many ways. 

The things every pregnant woman wants to hear.  

Here, have a kitteh!

sugar and spice.

Another post where I admit to being absent, as of late! Iris and I have been going through a bit of a rough adjustment period, where she is asserting her new independence and creating boundaries for herself. She will now say the word, "no" to me, has become very picky about food, is determined to stand and run along the couch, pull dvds off the shelves, and becomes extremely emotional about every little thing. It has been hard for both of us, especially on me since I am very much alone, most of the time. Marius' internet has also been very unreliable lately, which tends to add to the heaviness of missing him which I always seem to feel in my chest. Sometimes it can take hours for our skype messages to go through to each other, and we very rarely get to see each other's faces. We still don't know when he will be coming home from his deployment, but we are hoping for within a month or two.

Things are going well, aside from the changes and difficulties. I am readying our home for our impending move to Germany this spring, which means sorting through all of our belongings, organizing them and minimizing as much as possible. I've already made one huge donation of old baby clothes, toys and various kitchenware to a local shelter and have another one almost ready to go. I have started reading again and practicing a bit of yoga, both of which are much needed.

I have also recently made a huge change to my lifestyle in terms of cutting most sugar out of my diet. I now use one teaspoon of agave in my coffee or tea and have no candy, chocolate, or much of any processed food. I have also stopped eating any kind of products containing eggs (due to my allergy), and I feel worlds better after both of these adjustments. It's really amazing how addictive sugar is and how it finds it's way into almost all of our food these days. After a week of eating no more than 10g of sugar a day, I tried to eat a sweet potato for lunch and found myself disgusted at how sweet it tasted, even with nothing on it! Did you know that the average American eats 150lbs of sugar each year? That's one teaspoon of sugar for every hour of every day!

Anyway, here is the only picture I have available to me right now, as I still haven't bought a new camera card. I took this for Marius to show him just how big Iris has really gotten. We had both recently woken up and were still in our jammies, looking sleepy. Speaking of which, I am exhausted. I hope to soon have more time and energy to devote to my blog.

all aboard the baby train!

This was not posed!

15 months.

Three days ago, you turned fifteen months old. You have become so communicative I can hardly believe it! You constantly parrot things that I say or that our friend Ms. Julie says. You often point to yourself, to say "I/me/my" - for example, you point to food, then to your mouth. Speaking of food, you love blueberries, quinoa, butterkase cheese, avocado and blueberry kefir. You are also quite taken with drinking coconut milk from your straw sippy-cup. You drink about a cup a day in addition to nursing, and sometimes even some water on top of that! You still call mama-milk "mememe," which melts my heart.

You still ride in the Ergo on my back, which is perfectly comfortable for both of us. You also love to sit in shopping carts when we're out and about. You can point to almost all of your body parts now, and you know all sorts of different animal sounds. One of your bottom molars has come in and I think the other one will shortly follow. You have started glaring when you don't like or want something and waving your hands about as though to say, "begone from my sight!" I really can't help but smile at your very grown-up emotions.

We've had some issue lately with not listening to Mama when I say to "sit on the couch" and not stand. However, I've come up with a little song about it which helps you listen a bit more often. It goes: "we sit on the couch, we sit on the couch - you put your bum on the couch, you put your bum on the couch!" You are very amused by it too. You also love to pull the DVDs off the shelves, though telling you "those are Papa's, please put them away" can usually deter you. 

I have always allowed you come into the bathroom with me, so that you could learn about the potty from the very start. Your new bathroom routine involves saying "peepee, peepee," setting your potty infront of me and sitting. After a moment, you point to yourself, then to the toilet paper, then... you try to wipe me, and finally put your potty away. So, it seems you've really got the idea, little one! When you poop in your diaper, you run over to me and say "poopoo! poopoo!" You've even started pointing to yourself, then to the clean diapers as though to say, "please change me mama!" I know you will start to really use the potty when you're ready, and until then it's great fun to watch you practice!

You tap your chest and say "buh buh buh!" when you want me to read you a book - and god forbid if I don't read immediately! You'll run off and return with one book at a time, slowly compiling a stack. You climb into my lap with a book to be sure I'm going to read it to you. We read each one over and over - your favorite ones are about Papa. You love to play with the kitty with his toys; he really appreciates that you amuse him rather than torment him! Though you're honestly very gentle with him and he allows you to pet him much more often.Your favorite toy is the play kitchen. You are already engaging in pretend play, which I find pretty amazing. You stir your "speespee" (spaghetti) in the pot, you hold out the spoon for me to taste and you pretend to taste the play food too. 

Not long ago, you were drinking from your sippy cup and offered me a sip - you're so wonderful with sharing. I sipped and you immediately ran over to Papa's photo on the refrigerator and pressed the cup against his face too. I almost cried, you beautiful girl. You also love your Papa doll so much. If I ask you where he is, you run into your room and grab him from beside the bed. You give him big hugs and kiss him on the face! You've started saying "muah!" when you give kisses - but only Papa gets them; no kisses for Mama! At least I get to snuggle up with you at night!

Around bed time when I ask if you're ready for a bath, you always point to yourself and then ask "buboo!?" Bubble!? You love scooping bubbles into your hands for me to blow into the air. I have to comb your hair after baths, as it's starting to get long now. We read a few stories in bed as you lean against me and then nurse to sleep. I say this every month when I write to you, but can't help it - it's amazing to watch you grow and learn! I will always love you, my baby.

dancing baby.

Here's a little snippet of what Iris' dancing looks like! This musical butterfly is one of only three battery operated toys that Iris has. I usually keep them hidden -  mostly because they drive me nuts and I just don't agree with them. She also enjoys them much more when I take them out for her occasionally!