Sunday, August 3

"marriage is about love not gender."

I have spent half of my morning, quietly debating with myself about reposting this article on my personal facebook.


Instead of copping out with a comment-less link, I decided to write about it. You could call it coming out, or simply sharing my honest self.

My own bisexuality is something I have kept largely to myself in the last several years. Of course, my husband knows and fully accepts that I am attracted to both men and women. As Anna Paquin suggests, marrying my husband did not magically change my sexuality.

When I was younger and among my group of friends at the time, I did actively pursue both men and women that I was attracted to. Some of my friends were bisexual, and thus it was a safe pool of people so be honest with. I did not need to fear being judged, questioned, laughed at or avoided for my sexuality.

I would like to believe that I have never come out to my family and the majority of my friends and acquaintances because I am so confident in myself that I felt my sexuality was unimportant. I would like to think I have never spoken up about it because I feel it's personal and don't have the desire to make an event of myself.

These are lies I tell myself. Stories, to cope with the truth of fearing judgement, questioning, laughter, religious lectures or disgust. I have ignored considering myself part of the LGBT community because I was in denial of my own insecurities.

I first realized I was also attracted to women as a very young child. Around age twelve, at the dinner table, I worked up the courage to come out and say it to my parents. "I am bisexual." They weren't even angry, in fact they were simply dismissive and amused. Well, at close to thirty years old, I can confirm that my sexuality is not a phase.

Making this post is something that has been building inside of me for a long while now, and I am still afraid to post it. My heart is pounding like mad. However, Anna Paquin made me realize that I can be proud to be a bisexual wife and mother, without being sanctimonious and without shame.

1 comment:

  1. I had a wonderful comment that was deleted because I wasn't signed in, here goes the second take.

    I feel the belief that bisexuals cease to exist once they enter a monogamous relationship is rooted in two disgusting beliefs; 1) sexuality is a choice and 2) bisexuals haven't decided who they like yet.

    I think you're a completely awesome person and coming out doesn't change that. I feel that if any persons perceptions are altered by relatively insignificant information like sexuality, religion, ancestry, etc. then that person isn't worth their salt. As far as I can tell you are a very kind person, you are raising a wonderful well adapted child, and your cat isn't that bad either.