a european deployment and cooking for two.

There are many opportunities Europe has to offer. One of my most celebrated conveniences is the quality of the food. There is a wondrous abundance of culture here, which provides many completely different styles of cuisine. One thing they all have in common is freshness. GMO's are banned in the EU and believe me when I tell you, you can absolutely taste the difference. Organic food here is not only affordable but even readily available in most grocery stores here in Germany. The foods we might buy only on a special occasion in America are abundant and economical (for example, a fine cheese, wine or meat.)

Since Marius deployed almost two months ago, I have had to re-learn how to prepare meals for Iris and myself. I don't use recipes or meal plans at all, as I find that much more freeing to eat what my body needs on any given day. Earlier this year, our family decided to lean into a Paleo-style diet. We now eat very little gluten, if any at all. Marius is a bit more strict with it than I am, as I can barely live without my two teaspoons of sugar in my tea in the morning, or far more importantly, cheese.

Since it's summertime and I would rather not heat up the non-air-conditioned house any more than necessary, I've ended up making the simplest healthy dishes that occur to my mind. I am currently eating about five small meals a day, most of which consist of chopped raw vegetables, fruit, meat and olives. I thought I might share some of the meals we have been eating since Marius left, and hope he isn't too envious considering his chow hall is less than appetizing!

A lunch of olive oil baked eggplant eaten with a big piece of goat cheese and a side of grapes and carrots.

An easy ginger stir fry with chicken, eggplant, carrots, edamame, and red peppers.

Iris' most requested breakfast - warm oatmeal with honey and strawberries.

A healthier way to eat cheese is on thin slices of apple!

A lunch plate of quesadilla for Iris with veggies, aged gouda, kalamata olives and caper berries to share.

Paleo pomegranate chicken salad where instead of mayo, I use a simple guacamole - mashed avocado with some salt, cilantro, scallions and  lime juice.

A lunch of sushi rice with furikake and a side of avocado.

A throw together dinner of salmon marinated in Maggi-Würze, garlic and ginger with rice and ginger spinach.

A lunch plate of salami and cheeses from Belgium and Holland.

My friend and I made this big plate of sushi. Iris and I love sushi so much, we eat it at least four times a week!

Homemade gluten-free pizza with orange bell pepper, artichokes, eggplant and kalamata olives.

the cherry tree.

When we first moved into our home, our landlady told us we had an apple, plum and cherry tree in our yard. She said they only bear a great harvest every two or three years. Boy, was she right! Last year, our cherry tree was slim picking, and by the time we realized the cherries were fully ripe, the birds had stolen much of the fruit. 

This year, however, it was impossible not to notice the cherries. They are bright fire-engine red and there are TONS of them. Together with our friends, we have been picking buckets full and snacking on them for three days and there is still no shortage! We also have wild strawberries peppering our yard - a delicious treat! 

Here are the pictures I took of Iris picking cherries last year!

another deployment.

Our little family has been adjusting to life without Marius at home. This past Monday, Marius left for a six month deployment to Kosovo. Iris is adapting very well so far. I told her that when Papa gets home she will be much bigger and taller, which gave her something positive to reflect on. Since he left, she often cries out with a bright smile, "Mama! My head is bigger! And my nose a little and my feet! I'm THIS tall! And Papa will see me!" She snuggles her Papa doll every night and she understands about how Papa has gone to work for a very long time.

The last time Marius deployed was about two and a half years ago, when Iris was little more than a baby. See how little she was?? It has only been a few days, but I am still impressed with how well she is adapting. I've started implementing a new daily schedule for the two of us, which includes daily homeschooling and working out and weekly movie or out-to-dinner night together. 

Our location makes my living without driving very simple. We are able to shop, go to a park, go hiking, go out to dinner, and take a train - all with just a walk down the road. Along with the support of our wonderful friends here, I feel this deployment will be the easiest yet.

Any friends or family who would like Marius' current address, please let one of us know!

nineteen - twenty months.

My little love, I am really amazed at how well you have adapted to the changes going on in our lives right now. I believe you were most upset and confused when the movers took all of our belongings, leaving us with an empty apartment. You seemed frightened of our old home then; not comfortable with being by yourself in those empty rooms which used to house your routines and comfort. After a few emotional days, you seemed to accept that everything was different and that we would often be in-and-out of different cars and sleeping in different places. You have adjusted to having only a few toys to play with for now. You've had to watch more movies than we find desirable, but they have also provided a sense of familiarity for you throughout our jumping from place to place.

Oblivious to the whirlwind of change, your development has soared even further skyward.  You have started putting more words together, for example saying "nurse baby!","hi Papa!",  or "bye Meow!" You are fascinated with birds and as you see them streaking overhead, cry out "tweet-tweet!" You know all the parts of your body now and can name most of them. Today, you learned what "ow" really means and how to use the word. We were playing on a paved surface, bouncing your ball, when you fell while running and skinned your little knee. For an hour afterwards, you pointed to it and said "ow!" while crying intermittently. Since I put your pajama pants on for the night, you've luckily forgotten about it. On the bright side, you've also learned what "counting" is and you try your hardest to count to five! You'll hold your fingers up and with a grin say, "one....twooo...free...fou...whee!"

Nowadays, you love swinging at the park and will even go down slides by yourself! Your pretend play has really taken off too. Before your play kitchen was packed away to be shipped, you would pretend to cook soup in the little wooden pot, then spend twenty minutes pretending to spoon feed us and your stuffed animals. Your stuffed animals all have names that you've given them - most noteable right now are Baah (your lavender stuffed sheep), Pooh (from the books/movies), and Mau (a little mouse in a red dress).  You're also becoming much more interested in other children, not only observing them but interacting with them. After spending a little time with another child, you will willingly give hugs and follow them around, smiling.

You can name the colors: red, orange, yellow, white, green, blue, purple and sometimes black. If I lay out a row of crayons, you can point out specific colors when asked. While we're out and about you often alert us to your favorite color, exclaiming, "more blue, more blue!" You hum almost to the tune of the ABC song and the Ponyo theme song. You're very adept at peeling stickers from their sheet and placing them right where you want them. You know about a quarter of the alphabet now, including the letters O, I, A and P. We taught you last week that "O" is also what's called a circle and after a few demonstrations, you could draw a circle of your own!

You love all types of food, and are usually willing to try just about anything. You love schnitzel, lemonade, pizza (which you've eaten too often on the run, since our busy PCS time began) and eggs. Last night, you devoured three fresh cheese tortellini, a slice of tomato, a big floret of roasted broccoli, half a fingerling potato, two bites of pork chop, three strawberries, four blackberries and a German butter cookie. You like to snack on yogurt, raisins and cinnamon cheerios. If not presented with a fork or spoon with your meal, you will not touch the food until the problem is rectified - you really dislike 'dirty' hands! You also still nurse a few times throughout the day and night. You have grasped the idea of nursing when we first wake up, and then saying "no more mee-mee!" when it's time to go eat breakfast. 

You're very good at sharing your food with us and your stuffed animal friends, and surprisingly, it has only gotten messy when you were given a lollipop at a restaurant. The Germans apparently love to give children candy... in addition to the lollipop, you've tried a little package of gummy bears and I've had to refuse a number of other candy offerings. 

It is truly hard for me to grasp the idea that in just a few short months, you will be two years old. 

our new home.

Remember how I mentioned that although we had found our dream house, we were still looking for something better to present itself? Well, as it so happens... something did. 

After pouring through the books of house and apartment listings for the hundredth time, I marked off a couple of homes in a town very nearby to where we are stationed - a town we had never been to before. We looked at the two homes, unimpressed by the 70's style decor in one and the very heavy smokers on the first floor of the other. As we took a short tour through the town on foot, I spotted the peak of a handsome looking little house on top of a hill we were passing. Cute white lace curtains peeked from the two windows I could see, and there was a "home for rent" sign at the base of the driveway. "We should call! We're right here anyway," I mentioned to Marius. He agreed and we met the landlord shortly thereafter. 

You may think this odd, as the house is just about the complete opposite of the last one I posted photos of. It's very small, recently built and located on the outskirts of a more populated town. It's really lovely both inside and out, not a potential fixer-upper like the other one. It has a real yard, a patio and garage. It is a two minute walk from a Kindergarten and a grocery store, where while Marius is gone I can buy fresh food for myself and Iris (in case I haven't mentioned it before, I don't drive). The town has a train station, numerous bus stops, and a couple of restaurants and shops. 

The bedrooms are absolutely tiny, but the living room is a good size for the three of us and that's where we spend the majority of our time anyway! Living in a smaller house will keep our acquisition of "stuff" to a minimum, unlike at the other house which was massive and we felt we'd have to buy more furniture and such to fill the hugely open space. Our new house is cozy - the other made me feel almost uncomfortable considering its size. 

Our shipments of belongings haven't arrived yet by plane or by boat, but we will be loaned some basics from the base until they do. We did feel a bit of uncertainty and even sadness at the decided loss of our other potential home; its charm and all the many things it had to offer us. However, we feel we made the best choice possible and this house also has much to offer us, and especially Iris. I'm really looking forward to our move in date this week!

The view of our house from the driveway.
I plan to add potted flowers and the land lady is putting in a garden for us too!

The view from our patio and yard!

The front hall with marble staircase and tiled floors throughout.

sneak peek.

Here is a small preview of the house most likely to become our home for the next four years!

The first floor includes a modern kitchen, dining room, living room and laundry room which leads to a one car garage. Upstairs there are three bedrooms, a walk-in closet/dressing room, and a large main room at the top of the staircase which will serve as our library. 

In addition, there is a lofted attic as well as a full cellar. A stone driveway leads all the way behind the house, allowing for a small outdoor play space for Iris. There is also a huge stone staircase behind the house, leading up to a grassy area. The cellar will be perfect for food storage and for aging beer and wine. It will also accommodate our intent to delve into the art of brewing beer on our own.

The oil heat is being replaced with a wood chip burner, almost guaranteeing cheaper heat (which is included in the rent anyway.) The windows and shutters are fairly new, though considering the house was built in the late 1700's, it will probably be a bit drafty in the winter. 

The house is in a perfect location; right down the road from a Kindergarten, public park, butcher, bakery, and bus stops to the city. We are still keeping our options open and are actively looking at other houses, just in case something better presents itself. However, we are so excited about our find that we have made an agreement with the land lord already. The agreement legally promises the house to us for a period of five days - in other words, the land lord can not rent the house to someone else. If all goes as we foresee, we should be moving in this month!

currently.

Iris and Pooh bucked up for safety on our flight to Germany!

Located... in Germany! My family arrived in Germany about three days ago after a long 24 hours of traveling from North Carolina. Little Iris did a great job considering the circumstances. None of us got much sleep that day but transitioning to the +7 hours has since been fairly easy.

Reading... a new book called How to Raise Your Spirited Child, which I often found referenced online in relation to conscious parenting techniques. The author describes a spirited child as being one who seems, in one way or another, more "intense" than their peers. While Marius and I haven't exactly experienced trouble with parenting Iris, her mature emotions and personality can be baffling. Her fine motor skills and comprehension skills seem beyond the typical range. By picking up How to Raise Your Spirited Child, I hope to learn more constructive ways to understand and interact with her by letting her be herself, rather than inadvertently dampening her spirits.

Watching... Winnie the Pooh. This is Iris' new favorite thing in the world. After one viewing of the original movie, she knew to ask for "more Pooh!" We surprised her with a big Pooh stuffed animal when we boarded the 8 hour flight over the pond to Germany and she's just smitten with him.

Listening to... the sounds of the country; the breeze shifting leaves, foreign bird song, the all-around lack of urban drivel otherwise known as Quiet. We are currently residing in a hotel like place (which is actually more suitable to call an apartment) where Marius is now stationed. It has a full kitchen and living room, two bedrooms and bathroom. The living room has massive screened doors and windows. It's in the low 60's right now, but all of them are wide open to let us bask in the aura of this country, even whilst inside on a military base.

Anticipating... moving into our own home. We went house hunting for the first time yesterday and may have found our dream home. We were given two huge books of housing information by the housing office and I must have spent a collective three hours trying to sort through the hundreds of places listed there. One particular place called out to me as soon as I read it, and I kept going back to it, double starring it to denote that we needed to visit it. We called to make an appointment and got no answer. Later that day, after visiting two other duplex-style houses, we were about to call it quits for the day when they called us back! We arranged a time but due to road closures, the GPS routed us through the mountains on a logging road which was almost dangerous and ended in a dead-end. After an hour of trekking through the woods and other detours, we made it there. The house was built in the late 1700's next to the town's church. It was originally a parsonage, but is now owned by the church and rented out. It has two main floors with 3-4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, living room, dining room, and a kitchen with new appliances. There is also a huge attic space, as well as a full cellar. It has that Old House Smell I love so much, creaky staircases, vastly high ceilings, some ancient looking tiled floors and an atmosphere of history. We are going back today and will very likely be making an agreement with the landlord!

Enjoying... some great German food! We went to our first German restaurant last night with our tour guide from yesterday (a coworker of Marius') and his wife. I ordered schnitzel with peppercorn sauce and cheese, while Marius ordered it with sauteed onions, tomatoes and cheese. So delicious and Iris loved it too! The food here is so much better than what is generally found in the States. I am unsure whether is has to do with the difference between normal and GMO food, or the land on which food is produced, or what have you... but the difference is profound. Marius thought I was crazy the night we got back from the commissary with some local strawberries and I said, "yes! Some real strawberries! They will be better than anything we've had in years!" He voiced his doubt over my exclamations, but upon my placing of a strawberry in his mouth, the marked expression of delight on his face was enough to prove my point.

Concerned about... our Kitty. He is still in North Carolina, having been unable to get on the flight that was supposed to bring him here two days after us. He is staying with a trusted friend, though I still miss him and worry about the stress that all of this change is putting on him. Dealing with his situation of having to be imported to Germany has been an absolute nightmare for us and our friend caring for him, between the regulations causing time issues and the expense. I will write more on this later, as it is a long story. As of this moment, he should be here next Thursday. We are all hoping that plans are not altered again by any other unforeseen circumstances.

Now that half of our moving process has been completed and we are finally overseas, I will have more time and attention to devote back here. I have missed writing and I surely have some updates about Iris to catch up on!

mama and baby.

The squadron Christmas party was held a little over a week ago. Without my knowledge, a friend of ours captured these beautiful moments of me with Iris. Photos like these are a rarity, as I am usually the one taking pictures! Thank you dear friend; these photos mean a lot to me and I know they will to my husband, as well. 

loving Papa.

Iris' Papa Doll finally arrived today. 

This photo perfectly captures her reaction.

She's been carrying him around all day since.

We miss you, Love.

thankfulness.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Iris and I had a nice dinner yesterday at the squadron. This morning, I went with Lena to the airport to pick up her husband just returning from Afghanistan, then I had a nice long talk online with Marius when we got home. I made a delicious vegetarian stew for myself with fire roasted tomatoes, quinoa, beans and green olives, along with numerous spices. All in all, it was a good day even though Marius couldn't be here to share it with us in person.

In the last few hours of this day, I sit here reflecting upon what it is I am truly thankful for. My life, the experience of living and all the wonder it brings. My Family, my health and my wealth, which has provided the roof over my head and all the amenities we are so fortunate to own. I am thankful that we don't have to worry where our next paycheck is coming from or that we don't have to choose between heating our home and affording food. I am appreciative of my military family and my friends, whom have given of themselves to help us. I am thankful for my daughter for bringing so much more light into my life, and who has bettered me in more ways than she will ever know.

Most of all, I am thankful for my husband and for our marriage. My words fail me in describing the perfect love we share. Thank you, Marius, for teaching me with such patience to love myself. You've loved me unconditionally, and shown me the greatest compassion and tenderness that I have ever known. Your incredible steadfastness and sensitivity astonish me every day. You are truly an exceptional man. I am so thankful to have you in my life and I look forward to spending every day of eternity together. I will always follow the road which leads me to you. 

papa.

This video will steal your heart.

Today we were cuddling on the couch and I said, "Mama loves you!" 

Iris immediately got down, ran into the kitchen and pointed at this picture to say, "Papa!"

Yes, I totally burst out crying and had to get it on video... 

My Love, your daughter loves you so much!

times they are a-changin'...

My love.

My love; my best friend; my husband has deployed to Iraq. 

He left on Tuesday for six months. 

We are all doing alright, but life is very different. 

Iris with her Papa's American Flag hat, which they both love so well.

Before he left, we celebrated Iris' early birthday party.
We spent lots of time together as a family and I hardly spent any time online.
We prepared physically and emotionally for his departure.

We also received orders to Germany!
We've both been to Europe already and have been hoping for this for years.
We'll be moving there when he gets home in the spring.

It's been pretty lonely around here without him, but we have friends here who have made the transition so much easier. Iris has had a few play dates already, and we've gone out to lunch a few times and to Trader Joe's and Hobby Lobby. I spent about 12 hours hand sewing a stuffed kitty for Iris. I'm going to keep busy with crafts, learning German, getting our things ready for moving to Europe and of course, raising the cutest little baby in the world. I'm so grateful that we have the internet and phones to be able to stay in touch with Marius. When I'm feeling sad, I just think about how not long ago he would have gone off to war and I'd have heard nothing from him for years, save a couple of letters. It really puts things into perspective and makes me realize how lucky we are to have this technology. I miss him, but we are still together no matter how far apart.

This is no longer only my personal blog to write about Iris and my life, but Marius' way of watching his baby girl grow up for the next six months. Our family; our love is strong, and so we shall remain.

dear uncle,

Please be safe on your deployment to Iraq.
We will be thinking of you.
We love you!

time, time, time, see what's become of me

I've been spending a lot less time on the internet lately. In the last two months, Marius has been away on 4 work related trips, so whenever he is home we try to make the best of the time we have. His impending deployment in September is beginning to weigh on my heart, so this blog has been put on the back burner in favor of living in the moment.

The six month deployment is approaching faster than I thought possible. In fact, time is seeming to fly by faster than I can keep up with it. Iris will be 9 months old in two days, I will be 24 years old next month, Marius will be leaving for Iraq in about 10 weeks.

Sometimes I think that tomorrow I will wake up at 80 years old and wonder, 

"where did the time go?"

thinking about deployments.

Marius packed his bags and left this morning for a five day conference in Florida. He's been gone for weeks at a time in the past, most recently for the month of March to train with the Army. He will soon deploy for six full months, potentially even longer as deployments are often uncertain. A few of my friends here have said goodbye to their husbands this week, as they deploy overseas leaving their families to hold down the fort. Marius' short trip is a bitter reminder of this reality, one that is approaching us all too soon.

We've gone through a deployment before, but our relationship was very new and I hadn't even moved in with him yet. It was not easy by any means but this time the moments spent apart will be even more poignant. As I raise our baby, he will only be seeing her from a computer screen. He will only touch her photo. We won't be able to smile at each other, rest our heads on each other's shoulders or entwine our fingers as we walk. Iris won't be able to grab his nose, chew his fingers or nuzzle against him. We won't cuddle as we fall asleep, tickle each other or go on adventures together. I won't make him eggs on the weekend or continuously put his shoes away. There will be a big chunk of all our lives missing. Still there, but intangible.

I knew what I was signing up for when I married him. Nothing will deter me from loving him forever. He will still read to Iris as we turn the pages of the recordable books. He will still smile at her every day as she turns the pages of her 'daddy-book'. We will still whisper 'I love you' and hold each other close through the air waves. Iris and I will talk about how brave and wonderful he is and also how much we miss him. We will write to him, send him special things from home and I will capture video of Iris walking for the first time. We will stay as close as we can, so far apart. I will embrace our baby and know I am holding a part of him, too.

I cherish every moment I have with my family. I do not take my husband for granted; I do not take advantage of him. We never yell at each other; we always treat each other with kindness and respect. We make every effort to enjoy every bit of life we can, joyfully together or achingly apart. Though I'm troubled by his departures, I know with all my heart that he will return to us. When he gets back on Sunday night, I will be reminded of his returns after long periods of time apart. It will be as though I'm seeing him again for the first time - enchanting, exciting and to some extent, shockingly unfamiliar.

I hope Marius enjoys his conference, at least he's not breathing in the dust of Iraq, for now. Iris and I will laugh, play and go about things as normally as possible without him here. I love my wonderful husband and I miss him already.

Adjusting the sights on his rifle.
You know you're in a military family when your husband walks around the house
with a semi-automatic weapon.