another deployment.

Our little family has been adjusting to life without Marius at home. This past Monday, Marius left for a six month deployment to Kosovo. Iris is adapting very well so far. I told her that when Papa gets home she will be much bigger and taller, which gave her something positive to reflect on. Since he left, she often cries out with a bright smile, "Mama! My head is bigger! And my nose a little and my feet! I'm THIS tall! And Papa will see me!" She snuggles her Papa doll every night and she understands about how Papa has gone to work for a very long time.

The last time Marius deployed was about two and a half years ago, when Iris was little more than a baby. See how little she was?? It has only been a few days, but I am still impressed with how well she is adapting. I've started implementing a new daily schedule for the two of us, which includes daily homeschooling and working out and weekly movie or out-to-dinner night together. 

Our location makes my living without driving very simple. We are able to shop, go to a park, go hiking, go out to dinner, and take a train - all with just a walk down the road. Along with the support of our wonderful friends here, I feel this deployment will be the easiest yet.

Any friends or family who would like Marius' current address, please let one of us know!

happy anniversary.

Two years ago on this evening, my love and I were wed. It was a very simple affair that took place in the office of the Justice of the Peace. Our sisters and two of our friends were there as witnesses. The ceremony was only a few minutes long, and I barely remember the words we spoke to each other from whatever standard script that is used. 

But, I do remember Marius's expression as he looked at me; so full of love and heart laid bare. 

I remember the way his lips moved around the words and the way his hands felt around mine as we exchanged rings. 

I remember the way my heart fluttered like a small bird. 

I remember our first embrace as husband and wife and how I felt I might burst with delight.

Marius is more than I could ever have asked for in a friend, teacher, husband and love. 

I have such pride in the home and family we have built; in our beautiful and intelligent daughter; 

in the balance we bring each other. 

Our honeymoon will never cease as we experience and explore everything this wonderful life has to offer - together. 

Thank you, My Love.

The last two years have been nothing short of extraordinary. 

thankfulness.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Iris and I had a nice dinner yesterday at the squadron. This morning, I went with Lena to the airport to pick up her husband just returning from Afghanistan, then I had a nice long talk online with Marius when we got home. I made a delicious vegetarian stew for myself with fire roasted tomatoes, quinoa, beans and green olives, along with numerous spices. All in all, it was a good day even though Marius couldn't be here to share it with us in person.

In the last few hours of this day, I sit here reflecting upon what it is I am truly thankful for. My life, the experience of living and all the wonder it brings. My Family, my health and my wealth, which has provided the roof over my head and all the amenities we are so fortunate to own. I am thankful that we don't have to worry where our next paycheck is coming from or that we don't have to choose between heating our home and affording food. I am appreciative of my military family and my friends, whom have given of themselves to help us. I am thankful for my daughter for bringing so much more light into my life, and who has bettered me in more ways than she will ever know.

Most of all, I am thankful for my husband and for our marriage. My words fail me in describing the perfect love we share. Thank you, Marius, for teaching me with such patience to love myself. You've loved me unconditionally, and shown me the greatest compassion and tenderness that I have ever known. Your incredible steadfastness and sensitivity astonish me every day. You are truly an exceptional man. I am so thankful to have you in my life and I look forward to spending every day of eternity together. I will always follow the road which leads me to you. 

thinking about deployments.

Marius packed his bags and left this morning for a five day conference in Florida. He's been gone for weeks at a time in the past, most recently for the month of March to train with the Army. He will soon deploy for six full months, potentially even longer as deployments are often uncertain. A few of my friends here have said goodbye to their husbands this week, as they deploy overseas leaving their families to hold down the fort. Marius' short trip is a bitter reminder of this reality, one that is approaching us all too soon.

We've gone through a deployment before, but our relationship was very new and I hadn't even moved in with him yet. It was not easy by any means but this time the moments spent apart will be even more poignant. As I raise our baby, he will only be seeing her from a computer screen. He will only touch her photo. We won't be able to smile at each other, rest our heads on each other's shoulders or entwine our fingers as we walk. Iris won't be able to grab his nose, chew his fingers or nuzzle against him. We won't cuddle as we fall asleep, tickle each other or go on adventures together. I won't make him eggs on the weekend or continuously put his shoes away. There will be a big chunk of all our lives missing. Still there, but intangible.

I knew what I was signing up for when I married him. Nothing will deter me from loving him forever. He will still read to Iris as we turn the pages of the recordable books. He will still smile at her every day as she turns the pages of her 'daddy-book'. We will still whisper 'I love you' and hold each other close through the air waves. Iris and I will talk about how brave and wonderful he is and also how much we miss him. We will write to him, send him special things from home and I will capture video of Iris walking for the first time. We will stay as close as we can, so far apart. I will embrace our baby and know I am holding a part of him, too.

I cherish every moment I have with my family. I do not take my husband for granted; I do not take advantage of him. We never yell at each other; we always treat each other with kindness and respect. We make every effort to enjoy every bit of life we can, joyfully together or achingly apart. Though I'm troubled by his departures, I know with all my heart that he will return to us. When he gets back on Sunday night, I will be reminded of his returns after long periods of time apart. It will be as though I'm seeing him again for the first time - enchanting, exciting and to some extent, shockingly unfamiliar.

I hope Marius enjoys his conference, at least he's not breathing in the dust of Iraq, for now. Iris and I will laugh, play and go about things as normally as possible without him here. I love my wonderful husband and I miss him already.

Adjusting the sights on his rifle.
You know you're in a military family when your husband walks around the house
with a semi-automatic weapon.