sleepy baby bath time.

a day in the life of Iris.

Whole grain blueberry waffle with butter, syrup for dipping, and strawberries.

Playing and learning about animals and colors.

Munster cheese, whole grain crackers with flax seeds, and fruit.

Playground adventures.

Walking (levitating?) home.

Graham cracker bunnies. 

Playing peek-a-boo after a dinner of polenta with tomatoes and broccoli.

Bath time for this baby.

Jammies, stories and nursing to sleep.

I will not be shamed.

"Isn't she old enough now that you need to stop breastfeeding?"

"You don't want be to be breastfeeding now, it's time to wean."

I've been waiting for those comments for a whole year now. I've heard so many horror stories from women who have been publicly shamed and humiliated by perfect strangers for feeding their babies - I was just waiting for the hammer to fall. I've actually been surprised at how supportive most people have been of my breastfeeding Iris. I've never gotten any dirty looks in public and I've never been told to go feed her in the bathroom (if anyone ever had I was fully prepared to tell them to go eat in the bathroom and see how they like it). I'm not sure why I've never experienced it - possibly because I am very confident as a person and in my rights to feed my child where and whenever I damn well please. Maybe breastfeeding is more normalized where I live - I'm not sure.

I haven't been particularly outspoken about breastfeeding, I just do it. I've breastfed in my friend's homes, at restaurants, at the craft store, the supermarket, walking down the street, at a public pool and just about everywhere else. I've actually gotten a few positive comments over the last year, mostly from children who say "do some babies eat like that?" or they simply smile at me as though they intuitively recognize the nurturing that nursing provides. Many women have smiled at me too with silent approval of my confidence. Men have smiled at me as well, and not just because my breast is partially exposed. Every conversation I've had with friends and strangers has been positive and reinforcing of the phrase "breast is best." 

Now that Iris is over one year old, walking and looking like real kid and not a baby anymore... well, I am waiting for the hammer to fall and perhaps even hit repeatedly. I know I have made people uncomfortable in the past and that's fine - they can avert their eyes politely. If they give me a dirty look, I will smile at them. If they have something inappropriate to say about it, I will share the facts with them. 

This is what breasts are for. I am not just a sex object. My daughter will not be traumatized by it. My milk is still just as nourishing as it was on the day Iris was born. It does not turn to water; it does not go bad. It does still give her nutrients, comfort and even protects her from illness. The wonderful benefits of breastfeeding continue well past 6 months or a year. I plan to breastfeed Iris as long as she and I are both happy with it; until she self-weans or until I decide I no longer wish to. 

If you don't like it, please politely avert your eyes and keep your opinions to yourself,
just as you would in any other situation.

I will not be shamed. 

I will be strong for those who are ridiculed for feeding their babies.

I am and will be a part of normalizing breastfeeding for this culture and society!

babywearing week.

This week is International Babywearing week! While I'm not usually a fan of these "theme" things (I don't care that it's National Sandwich Day or International Llama Week), I think Babywearing deserves to be publicized. Sure, sandwiches and llamas are nice, but babywearing encourages some wonderful benefits to both baby and mother. 

Babywearing has been around for many thousands of years. Only recently have products such as the Ergobaby or Boba come into being - having belts and buckles, hoods and adjustments. For a long time, babywearing solely consisted of wrapping a baby against your body with a piece of fabric. And it still does! Cultures around the world use woven wraps to carry their babies - in fact, my first one just came in the mail today!

Studies show that babies who are worn cry less. It promotes physical development, as baby is in tune with the mother's natural rhythms of breathing, heartbeat and motion just as they were in the womb. Premature babies who are held often will gain weight and develop faster than those who are not. Wearing babies also allows them more time in the 'quiet-alert' state of observing the world around them freely, but with the safety of the parent to return to if overstimulated. This is why many die-hard babywearers such as myself wear our babies facing in towards us, so they may watch the world go by but retreat to their safe place if frightened or overwhelmed.

A baby carrier, wrap, pouch or sling are very safe places for baby to be, provided you educate yourself as to how to use whichever one you choose properly. I expect at some point people will begin gawking and asking why I will be carrying my toddler who's getting so big. Well, Iris won't be able to run into the street while she's wrapped against me, for one thing! Now that she's walking I experimented with taking her to Target the other day without a carrier. I alternated between letting her walk and carrying her on my hip, just to see how it would go. I ended up having to diffuse about eight tantrums over the toys she wanted to play with, books she wanted to take home, and old gum stuck to the ground which is apparently the most amazing thing ever. When she's in the carrier, tantrums don't ever even present themselves! I also just truly love cuddling with my baby, no matter how much she weighs! 

It's also so convenient, especially with newborns. Strap them on and you have both hands free to do your chores, type your paper or go grocery shopping. It's also easy to breastfeed discreetly after a bit of practice. Other family members can also wear your baby and if you're breastfeeding, it's a great way for them to bond with your baby.

I would recommend that everyone wear their babies or toddlers! It's easy, convenient, safe, beneficial and you get to cuddle with a squishy bundle of joy! What more could you ask for!

Newborn Iris in the Ergobaby carrier.
http://babywearinginternational.org/pages/babywearingweek.php

from cradle to bed.

When I saw this bed online almost a year ago I thought to myself, "good god Ikea, you are truly genius. This would have been my dream bed as a child and I hope that you still sell it when Iris is old enough to sleep in it!"

I drooled over it for a few weeks, imagining curling up in the reading nook reading Harry Potter as a thirteen year old. I pretended I was five again and that I was laying on my back in the top bunk staring up at my starry fort, counting the stars. Little did I know at the time that Iris would be sleeping there sooner rather than later, as you may have been able to tell from recent pictures.

Before Iris was born, my mother took me out and bought us the most gorgeous old-style crib in dark espresso. It had detail reminiscent of some of the antiques I had grown up with and I fell in love with it. Iris had other ideas, however. She slept by my choice next to my side of the bed in our room in her rocker for around eight months until she outgrew it and decided to try moving her into her own room. I took the crib mattress into our bedroom to make the transition easier on her. I played with her in the crib during the day, but she refused to nap there or even let me out of her sight without screaming. We tried moving her into the crib to sleep a few weeks later and it was the most miserable experience of parenting I've had. I stood over that crib for hours and hours - rocking, singing, shushing, patting, and nursing. But I could not put her down in the crib without her immediately waking up crying. 

I tried this a few times before I decided that it was not worth it. I do not believe that it's okay to leave your child to cry, for any period of time. I believe that teaches learned helplessness and is not in any way loving. Iris is going to be our only child and I don't want to waste the precious moments of her infancy struggling, crying and screaming over something that can be avoided all together. Iris' entire bedroom was already completely childproof and safe for her to be unsupervised. Why did she need to be in what is fundamentally a cage?

So, we decided to sell the crib to someone who really needed it and could use it. 

We used the money to fund Iris' big girl bed - the Kura bed.

And let me tell you, it's one of the best things we've ever done for her. 

She LOVES her bed.

She can get on...

She can get off...

And she has never once fallen out.
She goes right to sleep on it and will sleep for a few hours before waking to nurse.
She is so proud of herself for being able to get on and off, especially now that she's walking.

I sleep with her when she wakes up often and it's easy to calm her and get her right back to sleep. When she wakes up in the morning, she pulls her books up onto the bed for me to read to her and plays with my hair. She climbs all over me and gives my tummy kisses. She grins and plays peek a boo with me near the ladder to the top bunk, where she will sleep when she's old enough. The kitty has his own little cave in there for now. 

While I'm sad that we couldn't use the crib, I am so grateful for my parents' inadvertent funding of this amazing bed. Iris is such an independent spirit. The freedom this bed gives her suits her so well and makes her so happy. When she wakes from a nap, sometimes I don't even know it until I hear the ding-ding of her xylophone or her squeals of glee as she discovers the kitty within reach. A floor bed like this is a way of allowing her to exercise her power of choice, and it's easy to see that she revels in it.

I look forward to one day watching her count the stars on the canopy, design amazing fortresses and pretend she's at the helm of a great, steadfast ship. 

Sweet dreams, my baby.

first birthdays.

A little over a year ago, I met Lena. We were both getting to the point of becoming extremely large-stomached women. Large with babies of course. Our due dates were around the same time but Lena was convinced that I was going to have mine first - I'd been having braxton hicks for weeks and she hadn't felt a thing! 

Fast forward a couple of weeks, a few friends had come to the hospital to goggle my brand new baby Iris. As they left, they mentioned they were going to go see Lena. Yes! We had our babies on the exact same amazing day of 10-10-10! Quite the coincidence! Our daughters, Iris and Jane, met each other on their first day of life and have been enjoying play dates ever since. I'm so thankful to have met Lena that year, she has proven to be a truly wonderful friend.

She and Jane came over today to celebrate their first birthday! We made baked brie and pork and hominy stew which was magically delicious. The girls played, slept and of course opened a few presents. Even though  our husbands are far away, we made the best of it and enjoyed ourselves. I will be sad when our family moves away from theirs next year, but hopefully we run into each other again in the future!

Lena and Jane.

Using the rocker for balance. 

Sweet Jane.

Playing with stacking cups. 

Inspecting the presents.

What are these things?

Look Iris, there's something inside!

A book!

Matching books, just like matching birthdays!

Birthday girls. 

Look, a baby!

Such a happy baby!

Opening presents is very serious business. 

700 stickers. Somehow I think mama is going to regret this...

Hey, did you take my book?

It's okay, your head is sooo soft - I love you!

one year old.

On this day one year ago, around 1am in the morning, I gave birth to my sweet little baby.  

It's hard to believe how fast this first year has gone by and I'm sure time won't slow. 

Happy birthday, sweet baby. 

Thank you for choosing me to be your Mama. 

I will love you for always and forever.
♥

new shoes.

Hello there, my little blog has gotten a makeover! Sort of a starting fresh thing. Now I will be able to post larger photos and everything should look less cluttered around the center of the page. I've been able to talk to Marius almost every day he's been away, so rather than posting updates about Iris here, I've been sharing with him in person (as in person as the internet gets, anyway). I must get this blog up and running again! I was inspired today by a member of Marius' family asking me about baby carriers, so I have all sorts of new posts in mind. I'd really like to bring more balance to what I write (or post pictures) about, in terms of my thoughts on parenting. Not just write what Iris has been up to, but more about my life and ideas as well. 

My sweet friend Kelly over at The Teeny Tiny Mommy, recently emailed me asking if I'd like to do a guest post for her! So that will be coming up this week, for one thing! I want to maybe do some tutorials on baby wearing and using baby carriers as well. Not long ago, I emailed Marius with excitement over the fact that I made myself say "no" to buying a woven wrap for myself and Iris. Well... that wrap sat there, mostly ignored, on the baby-wearing forums for a while before I decided the price was right and I was going to go for it! I've been wanting to try one for a long time and I'm so excited for it to arrive at the end of the week! I definitely want to document my learning experience with the wrap!

We went out for a walk this evening and Iris proved what a difference a week of practice can make! Wearing her new boots which I thought were too big but seem to be perfect, she really went for it today. Go baby!

our cool, sunny morning.

a love of learning.

The terrible sleeping has resolved itself for the most part and the clingy crying has dwindled. However, the non-stop learning is still going strong! Iris has learned how to pass a ball back and forth with me, which is a great problem solving activity as she learns which way to move her arms to push the ball directly to me (she's surprisingly accurate, too.)

Her books, which are her greatest love, are becoming worn and bent from the frequency with which she reads them. She points out the things she finds interesting so that I can name what they are and also becomes very insistent that I read certain pages over and over again. She plays her xylophone often and likes to take turns with me. I've noticed that after I play a few songs on it, she gets very frustrated that she doesn't have the motor skills to play the same way. She tends to throw the mallet and get upset, but I tell her it's okay to be frustrated and she just needs to practice, which usually calms her down. I'm really amazed at her ability to understand me lately.

She has developed a new love for stuffed animals, particularly a soft teddy bear. She hugs and kisses the bear. When I initiate pretend play and ask if the bear might be hungry, she pushes him into my chest for 'memems'. She knows the names of almost all objects in the house that she interacts with. If I ask her to get me a wooden block, she does so. She knows what 'another' wooden block means. If I tell her the object is in the bedroom, she wanders off to find it and bring it back to me. She knows that 'dirty' means 'don't touch'. She knows to comb her hair with both a hairbrush and a comb.

I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting to write down. Oh, yes! I recently taught her how to blow her nose! We're still working on the using a tissue part though! I have the feeling that from now on, every day will be a learning experience for her. Even as I wrote this post, I had to change her diaper and she said 'poop'! Now that she is able to demonstrate what she's learning, I will be doing more educational and stimulating projects with her during the day such as sensory bins! I wish Marius could be here to see all of this new learning and growing. 

music monday.

I've started a tradition of pulling this song of our huge music collection

every year when the weather gets chilly.

This song always reminds me of my first autumn with Marius here in NC.

The rest of this Opeth album, Blackwater Park, is great too. 

Opeth has consistently incorporated progressive,folk, blues, classical and jazz influences into their usually lengthy compositions. Many songs include acoustic guitar passages and strong dynamicshifts, as well as both death growls and clean vocals.

walking baby!

Today was gorgeous, so we decided to walk to the little playground down the road. Iris put her shoes on for the very first time and walked all the way down and all the way back. While we explored the outdoors, she got dirt under her finger nails, chewed some mulch chips, put bits of grass in her hair and even found a kitty on the slide. We'll definitely be doing this daily, now that it's cooled down outside!

Papa is hilarious!