a trip to the park.

Iris' little face lighting up with delight was the highlight of last weekend.
Swinging was one of my favorite things to do as a child.
Even now, I will run excitedly to a swing set and play at flying.
It was so wonderful to see our baby reveling in the same sensations.
I love being able to ignite that bubbling giggle of hers!
There will surely be many more trips to the park!

nine month old nursling.

She's been putting the back of her hand against me like that since she was born. 

It slays me every time.

I could nurse this little baby forever...

wordless wednesday.

my slippery seal baby.

There are no words for this love.

being awake.

Iris was a brilliant sleeper when she was first born up until about four months old. Being of the school of thought that parents should respond to their baby's cues and not the other way around, I never imposed any kind of schedule on her. Luckily, she seemed to grasp the difference between day and night right away and was even sleeping in 8 hour stretches for a couple of weeks. That is, until the dreaded teething began.

I've mentioned recently that I was reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley. Well, I finally caved and bought this highly recommended book a few weeks ago because Marius and I could not figure out what was going on. I was perfectly happy to wake up three, four and even five times a night to nurse Iris back to sleep. It honestly didn't affect me much. I so enjoyed cuddling with her on the couch during those quiet, dark moments. I did this for about three months. I'm one of those lucky people who can function normally on less sleep but when she started waking me up every 15 minutes at night, I just couldn't do it anymore. I was awake round the clock and neither of us was able to complete a full sleep cycle. I just couldn't do it anymore. 

The first step was to change where she slept. Instead of the Rock 'n Play Sleeper which seemed to be cramping her new desire to move in her sleep, we brought her crib mattress into our room and pushed it up against my side of the bed. There was another week or two of waking very often, leaving me a teary-eyed and frustrated wreck. The next step was to get her sleeping on her own for nap-time because after months of sleep deprivation and a whining, crying, teething baby all over me at every hour of the day... well, I needed some time to myself. I will do everything reasonable that is within my power to nurture her and give her everything she needs. Parenting is not an easy job. However, as Marius often has to remind me - I need to take care of myself too. I often don't realize how badly I need to change something until it's right in my face and I break down. When I am highly informed or feel passionate about a certain topic, I may be very obstinate. I like to make things work my way and will dismiss other input because "I am right dammit!"

So, I gave in to buying the book. It offers gentle solutions to getting your baby (up to 2 years old) to sleep better and longer. Many of the suggestions were things I was already doing but it did enlighten me to one very simple yet important idea. Iris was screaming for a schedule. After the great number of hours of research I did while pregnant, I know how important it is for newborns to be fed and allowed to sleep on demand, no matter the hour! However, I have recently neglected to remember that Iris isn't a newborn anymore and has different needs. One of these is based on her new level of awareness of the world - she wants to know what to expect or in other words have a routine.

We all have our daily routines, for if we didn't our day would be chaos. I have daily routines of course, but being a stay at home mom means my day is relatively unstructured and I tend to just do what I want, when I want to. I missed Iris' cues for the need of a structured routine in her life. Since I developed a solid plan as to how our days go, she is sleeping so much better. It would sometimes be a 2-5 hour ordeal to get her to sleep. Now, it takes an hour at most. She naps within a half hour of the same two times every day. After morning naps she has a bath and gets dressed for the day. We have play time most of the day and by evening she is actually ready for bed. These were such simple changes which made us all much happier and more rested!

Situations like this remind me of why it's so important to be a conscious parent. We need to listen to what our children have to say and look at things from their point of view. I learned a lot about myself both as a mother and a woman. I didn't see what she needed because I was too wrapped up in my own agenda. I so desperately want to do what is right for Iris but in allowing my emotions to control me, I blind myself to what she's truly asking for. I suppose that is the great conundrum of parenting! Here's to living life Awake!

PS. These pictures were taken tonight within a span of about five minutes!!

you want some kisses?

Show me the money!

we have a winner!

After three months of offering food, 

I've finally found something

Iris genuinely enjoys

opens her mouth for

tries to get her hands on

wants more of...

She was so excited to dip her carrot into the container of hummus!

It was adorable!

montessori style in motion.

I did a little bit of reorganizing today. I've been really liking the idea of giving Iris full access to exploring the house (minus the kitty's litter box and electronics). I have completely baby-proofed her room so that she is free to play unsupervised.

I got a little creative and made four of her shelves into a happy, friendly place for her. I put two pictures against the wall to bring a little but of color and art into her shin-high world. I pushed the paperback books to the back and put more appropriate board books in the front, along with Sophie the giraffe! The ears of the bunny in the top left shelf are her comb and brush - her absolute favorite things to tote around. The bottom left pink square is a box of small stuffed animals and other toys for when she learns how to pull it out.

,

She has toys in the living room where we spend most of our time, and I plan to clean out my kitchen cabinets and dedicate one drawer to her. I'll place a few pots, wooden spoons, measuring cups and other safe kitchen items inside for her to freely pull out and play with. It will keep her out from under my feet (literally) while cooking, and she will feel involved in what I'm doing as she gets older. 

She also has her own section of the coffee table where we keep books.

She loves to sit there and pull them all down, flip through them and push them around on the floor.

Eventually, Iris will move to her own bedroom to sleep. But for now, it is still just the playroom and Kitty's room. Considering how small she is, it's amazing how keeping toys placed strategically around the living room are redirecting her from the things we don't want her to touch. She is beginning to learn which things are hers to do with as she pleases, and which things are not to be played with. 

In the last week, not only has she physically developed in huge strides but she has bloomed mentally as well. She understands words that I say, even phrases.
She knows:
milk
mama
daddy
go get that kitty!
over there
come over here
dance baby!
put your head back (to wash out the shampoo)
I love you

It's really quite amazing. I love watching her explore and learn! I'll be doing some more work on her room this week and Iris' nine month check-up at the doctor is on Friday! Luckily, she won't be having to get any shots (thank goodness, I take it worse than she does!) Then hopefully we will have time for a play date with her little friend who is the exact same age!

Looking forward to when Daddy comes home! 

wordless wednesday.

dear uncle,

Please be safe on your deployment to Iraq.
We will be thinking of you.
We love you!

my 3 keys to good photography.

Iris at 3 months old.

It feels so good to be shooting with my Canon Rebel again. I have no classroom experience with photography, nor have I taken any online courses. I've browsed some tutorials here and there, but naturally failed to retain any of the information. All of my pictures are taken with the auto and preset modes without a flash. I really should take the time to learn about everything that can be tweaked but to be honest, it's low on my priority list right now. You know, somewhere below reading the book I've been trying to finish for 2 weeks and taking a nap. All of my experimentation has lead me to three keys which unlock the door to improving my photography.

Taken with Marius' old camera at the aquarium in Atlanta.

Most importantly, you need to take a lot of pictures. You've heard the phrase "if at first you don't succeed - try, try again." You shouldn't expect to take a perfect picture the first time you point and shoot. When taking pictures of Iris, I will take about 50 photos per session and of those, maybe 10 of them are worthy of posting here. It's especially important to do this when shooting a an object in motion, or while trying to capture an expression. The more pictures you take, the greater the chance is that you caught something beautiful.

One of the two good photos, out of the 18 actually taken.

Move around. Change your angle - take pictures from above, below, behind and to the side of your subject. Take pictures from far away and from close up. Take pictures of the little details you'll want to remember 20 years from now, like the lines in your husband's hands or your baby's sleepy eyelashes resting against her plump cheeks. Only use the zoom if you have a high quality lens.

Iris' toes when she was a month old.

My most important key to taking great pictures is to always use natural light. I hate the way a flash washes out people's faces and makes the entire atmosphere of the picture look flat. I think the flash destroys the personality and character of a photo, unless you're using it to create a sterile feel on purpose. Remember that your lighting (or lack thereof) creates the mood of your photo. You can capture the subject's emotion, you can evoke emotion in your audience - or both.

This was taken with my iPhone when Iris was only a few days old.
It's proof that you don't need a fancy camera to
be successful with these keys!

I'm certainly no professional, but I do get better every day. I somewhat recently discovered that bringing the camera up to my face to shoot instead of using the display screen to guide my eye changed the quality of my pictures immediately. I try to think constantly about perspective and composition. While I can be very successful, I am not always!

I'm very grateful that I've taught myself to take some truly lovely pictures that I will treasure always! If you're interested in bettering your skills with a camera just let yourself experiment, be creative and remember to move around, play with lighting and take lots of photos!

a bright morning.

This morning I tackled Iris' messy wardrobe. She's outgrown tons of clothes that needed to be boxed and put away. The drawers look so bare now but at least now I can see everything she has! I had two good helpers, so they job got done quickly! Afterwards, we played and read stories before nap time. I've been reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" which has helped me help Iris to sleep better during the day (we're still working on the nighttime bit). Mama and baby are much happier! This morning was a lot of fun!

music monday.

Watching Fantasia and Fantasia 2000 today!

treats I want to make.

Living in North Carolina means easy access to 

extremely delicious local peaches every summer.

Joy the Baker makes a scrumptious and fresh looking peach and raspberry crumble that makes me drool just looking at her photos.

I love s'mores. They are one of the staples of summer.

I remember my first one, at a family friend's house when I was around three. 

I can still feel how the melty marshmellow stuck to my fingers and hair.

If you don't have access to an open fire, these s'mores bars over at The Alchemist look amazing!

I can hardly wait until Iris is old enough to learn about bumblebees

and help me make these adorable little cookies!
My sister in law is going to make them with the children she babysits for.
I'm excited to hear how it goes!

So far this summer, I have made cinnamon swirl banana bread, Marius' favorite brownies and my mother's recipe for rhubarb pie, which is always a hit.
Have you made anything tasty this summer?

a dancing baby!

Iris absolutely loves to dance...

...and here she is, rocking out to a song by the band Muse.

nine months.

You grasp our hands and toddle on tiny feet across the house in long, wide steps.

You will play accompanied by only your toys - wood, fabric and plastic.

However, you find people, plants and books much more interesting.

You're always chasing the kitty but that's nothing new!

The Love Noise (gently cooing) is only shared with me, Daddy and the Kitty.

You pull yourself up on the couch, the windowsill, bookshelves, or our legs.

You have your first top tooth now, that's three total! 

About six others are swelling up your gums, ready to come through.

Nursing for comfort while on hands and knees or standing is the new cool.

You love to dance to every sort of music there is; 

shaking, wiggling and stomping your feet to the beat.

Naps are now taken on your little mattress next to our bed, 

but you still fall asleep nursing sweetly in my arms.

You are amazed by the concepts of 'underneath' and 'on top'. 

You are quickly learning 'inside' and 'over there'.

You follow me around the house and also happily crawl to me when beckoned.

Your much loved bubble baths are now taken in the big girl tub - I call you 

my Slippery Seal Baby.

You give me big bear hugs,

rest your head on my shoulder and

plant wet kisses on my cheeks and jaw.

You wrap yourself around me 

like a soft little starfish.

Oh, how I love you my sweet baby.

a room with a view.

small changes saturday v.6

I posted a while back about my experience with making my own shower cleaner, which is still working out great. I clean the shower when I'm taking a shower and I don't have to worry about chemicals! I also use a vinegar/water solution for cleaning in the kitchen - a healthy substitute for sanitizing sprays which I think smell pretty awful. I procrastinated on making my own window cleaner, however. Some of the recipes I looked at seemed complicated or like they would turn out to be a huge mess. Well, I got over my irrational fear, dumped a bottle of Windex (which I hated introducing into the water supply, but I didn't know what else to do with it) and started mixing.

I found a really simple recipe that calls for 2 cups of water, 3 tbsp of white vinegar and 1/2 tsp of plant based dish washing liquid. I swirled it around in the clean bottle and began my first experiment on the glass coffee table. It gets gross pretty quickly as our apartment is always really dusty for some reason and multiple rings show up from glasses of water and such. The homemade solution works so well. It is completely streak-free and smells like heaven compared to the gross blue stuff. I think vinegar also smells cleaner than any chemicals I ever used! I was so excited, I proceeded to clean just about every glass surface in the house. Domesticity at its finest!

time, time, time, see what's become of me

I've been spending a lot less time on the internet lately. In the last two months, Marius has been away on 4 work related trips, so whenever he is home we try to make the best of the time we have. His impending deployment in September is beginning to weigh on my heart, so this blog has been put on the back burner in favor of living in the moment.

The six month deployment is approaching faster than I thought possible. In fact, time is seeming to fly by faster than I can keep up with it. Iris will be 9 months old in two days, I will be 24 years old next month, Marius will be leaving for Iraq in about 10 weeks.

Sometimes I think that tomorrow I will wake up at 80 years old and wonder, 

"where did the time go?"