from cradle to bed.

When I saw this bed online almost a year ago I thought to myself, "good god Ikea, you are truly genius. This would have been my dream bed as a child and I hope that you still sell it when Iris is old enough to sleep in it!"

I drooled over it for a few weeks, imagining curling up in the reading nook reading Harry Potter as a thirteen year old. I pretended I was five again and that I was laying on my back in the top bunk staring up at my starry fort, counting the stars. Little did I know at the time that Iris would be sleeping there sooner rather than later, as you may have been able to tell from recent pictures.

Before Iris was born, my mother took me out and bought us the most gorgeous old-style crib in dark espresso. It had detail reminiscent of some of the antiques I had grown up with and I fell in love with it. Iris had other ideas, however. She slept by my choice next to my side of the bed in our room in her rocker for around eight months until she outgrew it and decided to try moving her into her own room. I took the crib mattress into our bedroom to make the transition easier on her. I played with her in the crib during the day, but she refused to nap there or even let me out of her sight without screaming. We tried moving her into the crib to sleep a few weeks later and it was the most miserable experience of parenting I've had. I stood over that crib for hours and hours - rocking, singing, shushing, patting, and nursing. But I could not put her down in the crib without her immediately waking up crying. 

I tried this a few times before I decided that it was not worth it. I do not believe that it's okay to leave your child to cry, for any period of time. I believe that teaches learned helplessness and is not in any way loving. Iris is going to be our only child and I don't want to waste the precious moments of her infancy struggling, crying and screaming over something that can be avoided all together. Iris' entire bedroom was already completely childproof and safe for her to be unsupervised. Why did she need to be in what is fundamentally a cage?

So, we decided to sell the crib to someone who really needed it and could use it. 

We used the money to fund Iris' big girl bed - the Kura bed.

And let me tell you, it's one of the best things we've ever done for her. 

She LOVES her bed.

She can get on...

She can get off...

And she has never once fallen out.
She goes right to sleep on it and will sleep for a few hours before waking to nurse.
She is so proud of herself for being able to get on and off, especially now that she's walking.

I sleep with her when she wakes up often and it's easy to calm her and get her right back to sleep. When she wakes up in the morning, she pulls her books up onto the bed for me to read to her and plays with my hair. She climbs all over me and gives my tummy kisses. She grins and plays peek a boo with me near the ladder to the top bunk, where she will sleep when she's old enough. The kitty has his own little cave in there for now. 

While I'm sad that we couldn't use the crib, I am so grateful for my parents' inadvertent funding of this amazing bed. Iris is such an independent spirit. The freedom this bed gives her suits her so well and makes her so happy. When she wakes from a nap, sometimes I don't even know it until I hear the ding-ding of her xylophone or her squeals of glee as she discovers the kitty within reach. A floor bed like this is a way of allowing her to exercise her power of choice, and it's easy to see that she revels in it.

I look forward to one day watching her count the stars on the canopy, design amazing fortresses and pretend she's at the helm of a great, steadfast ship. 

Sweet dreams, my baby.